So He Has Mercy upon Whomever He Wills, and He Hardens the Heart of Whomever He Wills: Romans 9:18

I have never liked Romans, chapter 9, for the verse in the title and for verses 19 through 21, "You will say to me then, "Why does He still find fault?  For who can resist His will?"  But who are you, a man, to answer back to God?  Will what is molded say to its molder, "Why have you made me thus?"  Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for beauty and another for menial use?  (RSV)

Part of the reason these verses have always been so disturbing to me is that they have always seemed impossible to reconcile with a loving God, who says He "so loved the world" (John 3:16) (...ahem, not just those He arbitrarily picked) and "No one who believes in Him will be put to shame."  (Romans 10:11).  How can it be true that God loves all sinners and showed His love for us "in that while we were yet sinners He sent Christ to die for us"  (Romans 5:8), if there are some sinners on whom He chooses not to have compassion (see Romans 9:14)?  It never made sense.  The nagging question was always there, "How do I know if God made me for "destruction" or "mercy"?  Really, how does one know?  This morning I finally found the answer, by reading with my "grace glasses" on!  Understanding that righteousness comes by faith is the key.

Verse 7 starts out by telling us this:  "...not all are children of Abraham (the father of righteousness) because they are his (blood) descendants."  Verse 8:  "...it is not the children of the flesh who are the children of God, but the children of the promise are reckoned as descendants."  Earlier in Romans (3:16) God tells us, "That is why it depends on faith, in order that the promise may rest on grace and be guaranteed to all his descendants--not only to the adherents of the law, but also to those who share the faith of Abraham, for he is the father of us all."  So it is by faith that we are made descendants of Abraham, that is, children of God, not by birth or by "election".  I like the way the Message Bible puts verse 11:  "What God did...made it perfectly plain that His purpose is not a hit-or-miss thing dependent on what we do or don't do, but a sure thing...." We are His when we believe. 

Verse 16 confirms this, saying, "So it depends not on man's will or exertion, but upon God's mercy."  At first glance, though, it looks like this was not true for Pharoah, because it says "I have raised you up for the very purpose of showing My power in you, so that My name may be proclaimed in all the earth" (verse 17).  Note that it does not say showing My power to you but in you.  In other words, God did not create Pharoah as a human puppet to accomplish His goals.  His desire was really to work with Pharoah and through Pharoah, giving him power in response to his faith, but Pharoah chose to resist this opportunity.  What verse 18 is actually saying is that God willed mercy for Pharoah, but Pharoah refused it.  The trust was up to Pharoah. The consequences (hardening of his heart which leads to destruction) were not.

Verse 22 says that God "endures with much patience the vessels of wrath made for destruction...."  If God had predetermined who was a "vessel of wrath" and who wasn't, why would He need to have patience with them?  In truth, we are all "vessels of wrath made for destruction" because of our sin.  But verse 23 says that He endures us with patience "in order to make known the riches of His glory for the vessels of mercy, which (riches, not vessels) He has prepared beforehand for glory...."!  He patiently tries to reveal to sinners the riches of His glory prepared and available to them, if only they will receive His mercy!  Hallelujah!

The whole remainder of the chapter is devoted to driving home the fact that righteousness comes by faith, and those who refuse to receive what God has through for them through faith alone ( and rather trust in themselves, their own power, position, or works) receive, instead of grace (unmerited favor), a hardened heart, leading to destruction.  The last verse says, "He who believes in Him (including Pharoah and any other human being) will not be put to shame.  Again, the trusting is up to us.  The consequences are not.

One last thought regarding this:  Atheists assume they are "free thinkers", choosing what they will and will not believe.  In actuality, their choice ends with whether or not they choose to let God bless them and have mercy on them.  After that, the condition of their hearts is a natural consequence, not something over which they have control.  They think they have power, but like for Pharoah, God always has the last word.  It does bear repeating one more time:  The trusting is up to us.  The consequences, good or bad, are not.

Does God Really Care?

In Body-Soul-Spirit Praying, I wrote about emotions as a sort of a gift God has given us to connect spiritually to Him in prayer.  Love seems to me, at its core, to be an emotion, with care, concern, passion, etc. being fruits of that love, also manifested as emotions.  These "positive", life-giving emotions appear to me to be what melds my body, mind, and will together to more effectively focus my prayers, which at times (at least according to my experience) end up producing miraculous results.

Today in our morning devotions, I was considering my "negative" emotions (e.g., fear, frustration, despair, hopelessness), which I have formed the habit of entertaining when it comes to certain things in my life (foremost a large, seemingly impossible-to-pay-off debt that has loomed over our family for decades.)  It occurred to me that if "positive" emotions can open me up to God's faith flowing with power through me for a miracle, "negative" emotions might be the very things that are keeping a miracle from manifesting. 

I have often wondered why, why, why we haven't been delivered from this debt, despite much generous giving (which once held my only hope for deliverance), much (okay, probably mustard seed-sized) faith entered into because of God's loving promises in the Bible, and much of our own efforts to attack the problem with our own strength.  Along these same lines, I have also often wondered why parents of sick children sometimes don't seem to get answers to their prayers, when it seems perfectly clear to me in God's Word that His will is ALWAYS to heal.  Does He really care?  If He did, wouldn't He do something?  (Age-old questions, for sure)

In homemeeting last Tuesday we were discussing Paul's thorn (II Corinthians 12).  From the Message Bible, verses 7-10:  "...I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations.  Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees.  No danger then of walking around high and mighty!  At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it.  Three times I did that, and then He told me, 'My grace is enough, it's all you need.  My strength comes into its own in your weakness.'  Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen.  I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift.  It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness....And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become."  (Italics mine) 

Just for the record, I don't think, as some do, that God was concerned with cutting Paul down to size.  Neither do I think God gives us tragedies (like sick and dying children) to get us to trust Him.  Those viewpoints don't line up with His Word.  But here's the thing:  focusing negatively on my problem, whatever it may be (sickness, debt, etc.), feeding it with my emotions of fear, frustration, despair, hopelessness and the like, causes the problem to remain.  It is when I can begin appreciating the problem as a gift, letting it push me to my knees, and reinforcing in myself the knowledge that the weaker I get, the stronger (through Christ) I become, only then can I let go of my negative emotions, which very well might be the very things that are keeping a miracle from manifesting.  He says His grace is sufficient, it's all I need. So I let go of fear, hopelessness, and self-effort, and rest in Christ's strength, His completed work.  It's all I need, not just to be relieved from my mental burdens, but to solve my problem, to bring my miracle to pass.

At this point I'm not sure if my thinking and applications are the answer to all of the "age-old questions", but I definitely want to feed on this for awhile.  Could my greatest weaknesses really be my greatest strengths?  Could negative emotions be that powerful?  It sure seems like Paul thought so.  This is good stuff to contemplate.

The Verse I Wish Did Not Exist

If there's one verse I wish weren't in the Bible, it's I John 1:9, "If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." For 34 YEARS it kept me thinking that I am only righteous as I confess each and every sin. WRONG! The acknowledgment of my sin and my need for Jesus is what cleansed me THE DAY I GOT SAVED. From that point on, my righteousness is NOT dependent on ME, ever again! It is my faith in Jesus' finished work that cleanses me now, NOT my confession! (I John 1:7) This is why the gospel is GOOD NEWS and because of it, daily I fall more more deeply in love with Him :) 

I believe this verse was written to non-believing, but "hearing" Jews who needed to understand their sin and their need of a Savior. I understand now that it does not mean that believers have to confess every sin in order to be cleansed. There is nothing wrong with confessing sin or taking responsibility, for sure; but the act of confessing each sin no longer cleanses, and we have to be careful. The verse before this says "...if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin." This cannot mean, "If we walk in the light (walk without sin) as He is in the light, then...His blood cleanses us." Studying the Interlinear Bible text (original Greek) and Young's Literal Translation, as mentioned above, the verse more accurately refers to the initial understanding and acceptance of the GOOD NEWS/gospel, which is that Jesus released us from the law (earning our own righteousness by consciousness and confession of sin) and freely, by grace, took every sin so that we might reign in life through His righteousness. In other words, I think I John 1:8-9 refers to one's initial salvation, NOT one's daily life. Amazingly, as we accept His finished work, we reign in life, dead to the sin that once held us captive. THANK YOU, JESUS, FOR YOUR SACRIFICE.

Healing by Grace

I have been soaking for awhile in the "new" revelation that even if I sin, it does not negate the fact that Jesus already bore that sin for me, and that because He did that, every single sin committed past, present, or future is under His blood and completely and absolutely washed away, by His grace.  The more I "try", the more I fail; the more I "trust" in a finished work, the more I am able to live sin free, because I live through Him and what He did.  This new way of thinking is freeing me from useless and discouraging self-effort, and even from self-pride and anything related to self at all.  It is because of Him and Him alone that I can call myself righteous.  It is good to be released from the "law of faith", where I mistakenly felt that through my faith and trust in God, He would show me how and help me to be better. 

It suddenly occurred to me today that I have also been putting myself under that same "law of faith" when it comes to healing from the frequent headaches I have been plagued with in recent years.  Whenever a headache would occur, I felt pressure to "stand against it", "not accept it", and especially not to lean on the "arm of the flesh" (medications) to give me relief.  I knew I wasn't spending the time necessary to build my faith by looking constantly to the Word, and I felt ashamed that I struggled with fully trusting in Jesus' healing, which I knew was, at least theoretically, mine.  This was reinforced by the fact that I very, very often have successfully "taken a stand" verbally and with the Word against colds, the flu, and other aches and pains.  But the headaches were always so debilitating, and I felt so sick, that I would "stand" for awhile and then give in, much to my shame, usually with a promise to God to "do better" next time.  "Next time, I won't take medication!  Next time, I'll stand on the Word even if I die!  Next time, I'll honor what You did on the cross for me, Lord, I really will!"  Then I would then go to my cupboard with my tail between my legs, take the medication, feel wonderful, thank God, and then worry about destroying my kidneys or liver from taking the pills so often.  What a hated routine.  What fear of encountering another attack (which I already knew would prove me a loser).   I felt like a user of cocaine or like someone enslaved to alcohol.  Same vicious cycle!  I felt just like an addict!

But then, because the message of grace has so released me from my sin problem, I think the same message began to seep into my healing problem.  It suddenly occurred to me that, no matter the physical symptoms, I am healed, just like, no matter if I sin or not, I am righteous!  So, even if I have a headache, I'm healed!  Even if I take medication, it doesn't change the fact that I'm healed!  And furthermore, if I (take) "any deadly thing, it will not harm me" (Mark 16:18)  That means, I need not worry about my kidneys or liver being destroyed.   Whatever I do, I am healed!  This is monumental!  This is fabulous!  This is life-changing!

If I sin, it doesn't matter, I'm still righteous.  If I have a headache or take medication, it doesn't matter, I'm still healed!  There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus!  He did a complete and finished work.  "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not ALL His benefits:  Who forgives ALL your iniquities, Who heals ALL your diseases..."  (Psalm 103:2,3)  Oh, He is wonderful!  Oh, He is amazing!  Oh, praise Him, praise Him, praise Him, forever and ever and ever!  He is sooooooooooo good, and He loves me!!!!

Fear or Faith

Whenever Jesus was dealing with anyone facing a scary situation, He was quick to say, "Do not fear" almost before the person or persons had a chance to think.  (Examples would be when people told Jairus that his daughter had died, Mark 5:36; or when Jesus came walking on the sea toward his disciples in the boat, John 6:20.)   This happened often enough that it is safe to say that Jesus considered it critical not to fear, many times likely to stave off the very thing that was feared from actually happening.

What may not be obvious to most of us at first is that Jesus is teaching us, when faced with fear, to choose not to fear.  Chances to fear abound, that's for sure.  Our child gets sick, our teenager is late getting home, we begin to get a sore throat, we have pain somewhere in our bodies, we get caught driving in a terrible storm, etc., etc.  Many days I pray for my family and friends, "Lord, if today any of us faces fear or faith, let us each choose faith."  It is critical that we choose faith.

One evening when my youngest son (who had always been trustworthy) was still in high school, he was somewhat late driving home, and I was struggling with horrible fearful thoughts.  (This was before everyone had a cell phone!)  The Lord spoke to me clearly and said, "You are putting him in far more danger by sitting up and fearing for his safety than he would be if you'd trust him into My care and go to bed.  Do not fear!"  In some sort of crazy way, I had been feeling that by worrying about him (fearing) , I was actually caring about him and thus protecting him.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  The Lord said I was putting him in danger.  When I looked at it this way, I spoke out boldly, "I refuse to fear!" and made myself go to bed, knowing he was safe.  (He was.)

I have read many stories of people who were miraculously delivered from sickness, bills, accidents (both before, during, and after)--anything--by refusing to fear.  I...REFUSE...TO...FEAR!   

Why Fasting Works

I have studied fasting and wondered so many times if it is a key to answered prayer, and if so, why?  This much I know, that nothing we do, including fasting, forces God to do anything.  I have also considered that fasting may be an act that makes the person fasting more "spiritually sensitive", so that s/he can receive more easily from God.

The latter may be somewhat true, but after much thinking and praying, I think it is this:  Fasting is usually not easily done by any of us.  Hunger is a powerful, natural motivator, and so many of us have found that, good intentions aside, we succumb to the temptation to eat, even if we really don't want to.

However, when one actually does fast, it is because the matter at hand is critically important to us.  It is more important than satisfying and pleasing our own selves.  So we deny ourselves "pleasure" for a greater cause--which, I think it boils down to, is love.  Fasting works because it is an act of love.  "There is no greater love than this, but that you lay your life down for another."  (John 15:13)  A few verses later, Jesus says "...I appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide; so that whatever you ask the Father in My name, He may give it to you.  This I command you, to love one another."  (John 15:16-17)  I rest my case!

Moving Mountains

"And Jesus answered them, "Truly I say to you, if you have faith and never doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, 'Be taken up and cast into the sea,' it will be done.  And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith."  Matthew 21:21

We were reading Matthew 21 in our homemeeting not long ago, and I shared that this verse always bothers me.  My first reaction is always, "Well, then I'll never move mountains, because I know I would always have doubt for something like that."  We got to discussing it in the light of grace.  I was gently reminded that, even though these were words of Jesus, He had not yet died, He had not yet freed His people from the burden of obedience as the key to blessing.  Jesus was talking to Jews who were only familiar with the do's and don'ts of the old covenant.  Quite likely, we discussed, He knew his disciples would probably whisper the same objections amongst themselves as I did, every time I read it:  "Well, if it takes me not doubting to do what He's doing, I know I'll never be able to do it!"  Which, most likely, is exactly the response Jesus wanted them to have.  Patiently, over and over again, He is teaching them the futility of the law and obedience to it.  He is letting them realize how worthless their own self-efforts at righteousness are.

It is the first time I have understood this verse, ever!  It is the first time I did not whip myself for not being able.  Of course I'm not able.  But (obviously) He is!  My righteousness is not because of anything I have done or deserved.  It is a free gift, imparted to me, and as I accept it, I understand that "In Him I live and move and have my being!"  (Acts 17:28)   If I am ever to do a miracle, it must be by relying on His strength, His ability, His right standing with God.  It's not about me!  That's how I know, if I ever need it to be, any mountain in my life will be moved!